Perspective for the Weary: Living for Today!

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I know I'm not the only kid who's classroom was covered in these inspirational posters. No matter what grade I advanced to, they somehow managed to stalk me throughout my whole educational career. Just when I thought I rid myself of them in 3rd grade, (surprise!) there they were, waiting on me in 4th - encouraging me to be better, to be kind, to work harder. What a tall order for a 4th grader!

Because of the constant 'inspiration inundation' of my childhood, I typically seek out alternatives when it comes to my own personal decorating. Maybe a nice painting... a wall clock... anything BUT an inspirational poster. Yet there is one picture hanging on my bathroom wall with a message that I read every single morning (and I wouldn't have it any other way). It says, quite simply...

HAPPINESS IS A MEANS OF TRAVEL, NOT A DESTINATION.

This quote came to mind yesterday when my client Anna sent me an 'SOS' email. She's been on a job search for the last few months and is starting to feel utterly exhausted. The right job hasn't come along yet and all the applying, interviewing and strategizing has left her discouraged. She feels like she is 'waiting for her new, better life to begin'. 

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While pondering her email over lunch, I had an 'aha' moment. I do the exact same thing as her! I fantasize about the future, thinking 'If I just had (this), then my life would feel like (that)'. For her it's the job. For me, it's too many things to get into or we'd be here all day. But the bottom line is that we all fixate on the future to some extent. We glamorize it. We imagine how great our lives will be when we have that job, that promotion, that ring, that perfect figure. It's almost as if we picture all our frustrations melting away when 'that thing' comes to fruition for us. 

But let's be honest with ourselves. You and I both know that acquiring all those things won't magically make life better, or less frustrating. With new situations, come new concerns. And once a dream or goal is reached, another one appears right behind it.

So what are we to do in the meantime?

Live in the present and enjoy the journey. Remember that each day (even with its frustrations) is a gift from God. Make a conscious effort to be thankful for all the good things you DO have in the here and now. And frankly, enjoy the comfort of your current situation. It's not scary like a new job or a new relationship. You know exactly what to expect... and that's one less thing to worry about!

It's just like I told her, don't fret about what you can't control. You will end up where you're supposed to be. And as for that fantasy world you're striving for, it doesn't exist.

So today, let's remember to enjoy the journey!

Fear Face Off: How To Rise Above Your Fears

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When I was born, I was given a huge stuffed panda bear. That thing must have been 4 feet tall. It was the kind of toy that any child would dream of. It had a beautiful red bow tied around it's neck, and it most certainly cost a fortune. 

...that panda bear TERRIFIED me to the core.

It lived in the nursery at the top of the staircase. I remember being three or four years old and literally crawling up the stairs stealth-mode style so that I wouldn't catch it's attention. I'm not sure what I thought would happen (a bloody panda attack?), but nevertheless, it promised to be horrible.

Years later when I told my mother that I had lived in fear of a stuffed panda for most of my childhood, she stifled a chuckle and calmly replied 'If you had told me you were scared, I would have thrown it out".

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It's amazing how massive our fears can get when we allow them to take root in our heads instead of just 'throwing them out'. Truth be told, today's message is for ME. I'm a worry wort and not a day goes by where I don't worry about something - How will I be able to make a difference in the world? Will the city I live in ever feel like 'home'? Will I have a family? When will I feel financially stable? Will I be healthy? 

Most of the time, we fear things that never even come to fruition, OR if they do, are much less scary than we expect them to be. In many cases, we visualize having to face these challenges on our own, when in reality, most of us have a support system of friends and family who would be there to stand by our side should the storm arise.

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Like most people, one of my biggest fears is failure. I have no problem taking the leap to do scary things (as evidenced by my semi-insane move to NYC with no friends, apartment or job), but while I'm leaping, I am often paralyzed by thoughts of 'Did I do the right thing? Was this part of the plan? Does everyone think I'm nuts?'.

But honestly, it's just like they say - "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" - FDR.

Every single time I've made a big leap, it has turned out OK. Did I automatically have a perfect life in NYC? No. Did I suddenly have a wallet full of cash to get me through the next month? Hell no. But somehow, I ended up on my feet amidst the struggles and I recognize now all the wonderful things I learned while going through them.

It makes me wonder why I spent so much time being fearful.

So, while a stuffed panda bear and a move to NYC barely come close to the kinds of obstacles we face today as adults, the answer to overcoming your fear is just as simple. Address it. Face it head on. Refuse to let it paralyze you.

Just throw it out. It's as simple as that.

Friday Song O' The Day: Beat It (Michael Jackson)

This week I wanted to pick a song that embodied Marni's strength. What better than Beat It? Marni has been courageous in the face of a disease that has changed her life in so many ways. She didn't let it stop her. She rolled with the punches and even started a charity to raise money for the cause!

How's that for saying 'beat it!'?

Go beat this Friday! You got this! Saturday is the first day of fall and good things are ahead! Have a happy Friday, everyone!