In the Name of Love: My Special Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day! I didn't want to get all mushy on you guys, but then I realized I'm kind of mushy. So in honor of embracing my girly side, I asked former guest contributor Marni Blake Rothman to come back today and share a very exciting update on her life. You remember Marni, right? She so courageously shared her story with you on the blog about being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Marni is a champion. She's the kind of person you just want to wrap up in a big bear hug every time you see her. She embodies love and courage... and verve for life! With no further ado, I'll let Marni tell the rest...

BY: MARNI BLAKE ROTHMAN

When I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, the first question that popped into my mind was "How am I ever going to meet someone? Who's going to want to marry someone with all these health issues?". I struggled and made many mistakes in the dating world after that point. Most of the time, I revealed my health issue too soon. I figured if they couldn't handle it, then why should I waste my time? One man in particular was actually scared of my MS and went radio silence on me (this I found out later from the woman who set us up). So there I was in a daunting uphill battle - learning to accept my MS while looking for a man who would support me in my journey.

When I was living in L.A., my best friend took me to see a show at The Roxy. The moment I saw the bass guitar player on stage, I was immediately drawn to him. Maybe it was just my rock star fantasy, but I was determined to meet him. I approached him after the show, learned his name was K.C. and gave him my business card. Talk about intimidating! But to my surprise, he called me a few days later and asked me out on our first date.

After some drinks and a game of Bingo at Barney's Beanery in West Hollywood, I knew I liked him (and for more than his rock star glamour). For the first time in my life, I was in a relationship that was growing organically. I never waited by the phone; he was consistent from day one. When he said he would call, he did. There was no game playing and that's exactly what I needed! After one month of dating, I decided to mention that I had MS over a game of cards. He didn't make a big deal of it. He just asked me a few basic questions and we moved on. Finally!

After a few months we were falling hard for each other. Our passion for music, food and laughter brought us together. At this point, he was even giving me my injections... which was HUGE for me. I hated giving myself those shots and after being alone in LA for my entire 20's, it was so nice to find someone who I could lean on. He supported me every step of the way. Poor K.C. dealt not only with my MS, but also with my 2 spinal surgeries (I kept thinking he must think I'm such a mess. It was one medical battle after another). Yet, he still fell in love with me during what I consider to be the hardest years of my life. 

And I fell in love with him.

It was mutual - that's what I had always wished for. K.C. showered me with respect, honesty and (most importantly) communication.

Our biggest hurdle came when I realized that L.A. wasn't for me. Because of all my medical issues, I yearned to be with my family back in NY, especially since all my primary doctors were there. K.C. knew in his heart that this was the best move for me and he was willing to let me go. I knew that it was the hardest decision for him... and it literally broke my heart. 

We tried to date other people and let each other move on in our separate worlds. Truth be told, I kept telling myself that if it was meant to be, then we would end up back together. Well, just in time destiny came knocking in the form of a job offer. K.C. was given the opportunity to join his company, Rudy's Barbershop, and open a new hub at the Ace Hotel in New York. We knew it was a sign that we should be together, and K.C. wasted no time in uprooting his entire life and moving across the country for me. I got to see what true love looks like. It was obvious he was in it for the long haul. This was a huge step for both of us.

K.C. tells me every day that he loves me and that I'm beautiful. I never imagined I would find a man who tells me these things repeatedly (he better keep it up!).

Now for the best part of our love story...

Over the holidays, I flew home with him to his hometown of Chico, California. On the evening of Christmas after meeting up with some of his friends, K.C. told me we were headed to another bar. As we walked through town, a massive group of his family and friends appeared out of nowhere...

...and well, the video tells the rest.

Obviously, I said 'yes', and we are now planning our future together. When K.C. asked me what I wanted this Valentine's Day, I said 'nothing'. He surprises me with flowers on random days and tells me he loves me every day... THAT is true love and I don't need a holiday to recognize that.

Fair warning: I scream A LOT in this video. :)

Proposal 1 from Marni Rothman on Vimeo.

Marni Blake Rothman lives in New York City, works in TV and is currently producing the 4th season of Lond Island Medium for TLC, set to air this spring.  She's worked with BRAVO, VH1, MTV and HBO, to name a few. When she's not calling the shots at work, you can find Marni sitting on the couch with her fiance catching up on her DVR, at a music festival doing the hippie dance or running errands in her neighborhood. When asked what she loved best about NYC, Marni said "My cleaners, nail salon, hair salon, drugstore, yogurt store and liquor store are all on the same block. In any other city, my errands would take me an entire day!" Find out more about Marni at: www.marniblake.com.

The Experts Weigh In: When Your Body Turns On You

BY: MARNI BLAKE ROTHMAN, CONTRIBUTOR

Isn't it nice to grow up completely worry-free? Because you and I both know that once you graduate college, 'life' begins. When I turned 23, I was sucker punched in the gut with medical news that would change my life forever.

Denial is a beautiful thing. When you're still young, you don't realize that your body can actually turn on you. I never had any issues growing up. I danced my whole life, constantly attending competitions and performing. I was always moving. I never sat down. Even after college, I continued moving, whether it was yoga, boxing classes, Pilates, cycling or working with personal trainers. I was ALWAYS doing something!

My medical journey began one night while I was working my dream job at VH1. I had stayed overnight to edit, spending the entire time staring at a computer monitor. After only a few hours of sleep, I noticed - while putting on my makeup - that my eyesight was blurry. I immediately blamed it on being tired and went on with my week, but my eyesight didn't get any better. It was like seeing a cloud everywhere I turned.

Assuming I needed glasses, I went to the optometrist to pick out some cool Prada frames, but low and behold, I didn't need glasses. I needed an MRI. PRONTO. After being admitted to the hospital, getting shot up on steroids, undergoing an MRI and spinal tap, and seeing three different doctors in one month, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. My first red flag just happened to be the optical neuritis.

I was so young! I felt nothing short of shocked. I was in a state of denial, refusing to let any health diagnosis stop me. I didn't even know what MS was. Today, I can share that it's an autoimmune disease that affects the nervous system. My nerves don't transfer properly, causing symptoms such as blurry vision, numbness and tingling. The worst part is that no two people have the same symptoms, making it that much harder to cure.

I continued my young adult life - partying late into the night, dancing at clubs and hanging out with people I shouldn't have. I wanted to tell my body "I'll show you!". After starting to fall down drunk and never knowing whether my symptoms were a result of the MS or a nasty hangover, I knew I had to make a serious change. I curtailed the partying and focused on my career. 

For me, the biggest hurdle with MS is listening to my body. I'm a workaholic and definitely overdo it. It's hard for me to say "Maybe I shouldn't work these hours" or "Maybe I shouldn't go out tonight". I don't want MS to stop me from anything. When I got my diagnosis, I continued to workout because I knew exercise was really important. I was actually devastated when my doctors told me to stay away from my favorite - hot yoga - because any room at that temperature can bring on MS symptoms.

After injecting myself three times a week with medication (the worse) while living alone in New York, I decided to move to LA. Of course, my parents were concerned. What if I had symptoms and needed their assistance? But luckily, I went away with their support, which I am grateful for, because I would have regretted never having tried out a new city.

Living in LA was great for my MS. The weather was perfect. I was taking advantage of all LA had to offer. I hired a personal trainer at Crunch, was seeing her daily and was also spinning once a week. One day, after doing a deadlift, I felt an awful pain shoot through my back. For the next few days, I actually thought it was an MS symptom. I had no idea that I had just done something stupid at the gym. The next few months resulted in multiple bouts of steroids to help the pain, but it only got worse. The pain got so bad that I could barely drive or sleep. After an epidural - which didn't work in the least - I had to stop working out altogether. It got so bad that I resorted to spinal surgery. 

After surgery, I was told that I couldn't work out. It was an awful message to receive. I became depressed and starting popping pain pills, barely able to move out of my bed. When my disc actually re-herniated, I had to have a second spinal surgery. I had reached an all time low. Luckily, I had a very supportive boyfriend in LA, but all signs were pointing back to New York where my family was.

I returned to New York feeling utterly defeated. I was so traumatized from my first physical therapy experience, that there was no way I was going back. I just went back to work and started dreaming of the day that I could work out again.When my back started to feel better and there was no shooting sensation going down my leg, I started going to private Pilates sessions on the reformer, but soon became bored. I needed music! I needed something to get me going and change my mood. 

After reading an article in the NY Post about a new cycling studio called Flywheel Sports, I decided to take the chance and see if my body could handle the bike. I started taking classes in July of 2011 and was immediately hooked. The best part was that my back was not hurting! I didn't care what my numbers were after class. I had discovered a workout that my body accepted! This was breaking news for me personally. It's been over a year now since my first class, and I have not missed one week.

I still wake up every morning unsure of how my body is going to feel. There are times that I am exhausted and don't want to work out, but ultimately I know I will feel 100% better after a Flywheel class. This is not just a workout. It's a jump back to life. For years, I went to the gym and barely broke a sweat since I only wanted to wash my hair once a week (girls, I know you can relate). Now it's hard to believe that I actually found a workout where I am willing to wash my hair three times a week! 

I saw my body change, but more than anything, my mental state began to transform. For years, I felt my body hated me. Now I only feel that way occasionally. Granted I can't do every workout, but when I'm on that bike, my body works with me and I'm in my happy place.

Image courtesy of Melanie Greene Productions

The sense of community at Flywheel is awesome. The instructors, staff and my fellow riders are supportive and uplifting. Flywheel has done more for me than anyone could imagine. They even went so far as to help me organize an event - MSquared: Music Against MS - for the charity I created. The event gave me an opportunity to share my love for Flywheel with family and friends, while raising money for this incurable disease.

I'd like to leave you with this: From the perspective of social media, everyone's life looks so perfect and glamorous. The truth is, everyone has 'something' and THIS is MY 'something'. I have MS, I have a bad back, but I also have Flywheel. Hope can be found in the unlikeliest of places.

MSquared: Music Against MS will be participating in the 30-mile MS Bike Tour in New York on October 21^st and the music event is being held on November 7^th at Session 73 at 7pm.  For more info please see www.musicagainstms.com or look for us on Facebook.

Marni Blake Rothman lives in New York City, works in TV and is currently producing Long Island Medium, airing Sunday nights on TLC.  She's worked with BRAVO, VH1, MTV and HBO, to name a few. When she's not calling the shots at work, you can find Marni sitting on the couch with her boyfriend catching up on her DVR, at a music festival doing the hippie dance or running errands in her neighborhood. When asked what she loved best about NYC, Marni said "My cleaners, nail salon, hair salon, drugstore, yogurt store and liquor store are all on the same block. In any other city, my errands would take me an entire day!" Find out more about Marni at: www.marniblake.com.